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Joke of the Day

"Man in a BMW pulls up next to a kid in the street... and says, ""Excuse me, lad. If I give you 5 bucks will you come in my car?"" Kid says, ""Give me 10 and I'll come in your mouth!"""

"I recently started remodeling my house and quickly got in over my head, so I decided to get some professional help. I also hired a contractor to work on my house."

"Why can't you insult Jewish people? Because they've already been roasted."

"I wonder how many other Sandy's have come into men's lives and taken their cars and houses, too."

"Be nice to me or I will rain down Hell upon you when I start my blog."

"What kind of ant is good at maths ? An accountant !"

"Yo mama head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow."

"The best thing about hand sanitizer in hospitals isn't the hygiene. It's everyone walking around like they're hatching an evil plan."

"At first I didn't like having a beard, but it grew on me."

"How do you cut down a hipster tree? A suuh dude!"