119388

Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"Mother: Jared get your little sister's hat out of that puddle. Jared: I can't mum she's got it strapped too tight under her chin!"

"I wish my refrigerator would quit opening my bedroom door, staring at me, sighing and walking away."

"Russian nesting dolls are so pretentious. They're so full of themselves."

"What do you call a privileged post office? Cis White Mail"

"Do you know what the best part about banging 21 year olds is? There's 21 of them."

"Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust."

"Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum? Coz 'e-mmental!"

"A man is at a drug store A man is at a drug store and asks the clerk for 50 condoms. The 2 girls behind him start laughing when he turns around he says ""Make that 52"""

"Dark humor is like food... Some people don't get it."