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Joke of the Day
"My 5th grader is one eye roll away from being listed on eBay this morning."
Next Joke
"sometimes i literally would stop replying to someone for a whole hour because i be googling a very specific reaction gif for the convo"
"Hi..You've reached my voicemail. I could come to the phone right now but I saw your name on caller ID so leave a message..or not."
"Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler."
"I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers. I nearly fell out of my tree."
"My ex-girlfriend said that she misses me all time She also said that she's taking lessons to improve her aim."
"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me."
"What's a lawyer's favourite pastry? Suet"
"I named my dick the truth, because the truth hurts, and you can't handle the truth!"
"Why can't dormant volcanoes erupt? They have eruptile dysfunction"