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Joke of the Day

"A door walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Why the long face?"" The door responds, ""I'm off my hinges."""

"Soup Person1 my alphabet soup is telling me a message. Person 2 what is it saying? Person1: oooooo Person 2 *sigh* Those are cheerios"

"I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me."

"Why Can't Dinosaurs Clap. Because They're Dead. :)"

"What do you call a Transformer that's also an optometrist? Oculus Prime."

"Remember, ladies, when you're taking those selfies, the camera adds like 10 cats."

"What kind of pizza does Lil Wayne like? Little seizures."

"Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe? Bed"

"Apparently, somebody gets stabbed in London every 52 minutes. Poor bastard."

"It's a good thing that the Ghostbusters don't charge a lot of money because if you couldn't pay, they'd have to come back and re-possess your house."