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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, somebody gets stabbed in London every 52 minutes. Poor bastard."

"My doctor told me that I have to stop masturbating! Because otherwise he can't do his medical examination."

"A man stopped breathing today at a bar... A lady then screamed out ""ANYBODY KNOW CPR"" I yelled back. ""I know the whole damm alphabet!"" Everyone Laughed... Well except 1 guy..."

"[At a child's birthday party, holding a poorly taxidermied possum] I heard someone likes stuffed animals!"

"If by ""fetching"" you mean ""looks like I was dragged from the woods by a dog"" then yes I look fetching."

"Hey, do you like analogies? I got plenty! I got analogy to rabbits, analogy to grass, analogy to mold..."

"Why does a pony have a sore throat? Because it's a little hoarse."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods one day? ...just think about it."

"I trimmed all the bushes in the front yard to make my house look bigger."

"How do you keep someone from hearing the punchline of a joke?"