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Joke of the Day

"You guys wanna hear a miscarriage joke? Wait, it would probably come out wrong..."

"I asked my mom why she forced me to go to to singing lessons as a kid She said singing is a skill I need to a choir."

"I bought a shower curtain on Amazon once and now every time I log in Amazon acts like I'm the guy who fucking loves buying shower curtains."

"Just went for a piss while still wearing my microphone and the whole conference heard me call the urinal a ""thirsty boy"""

"God created everyone to be different on the outside....... But then He got to China and became lazy."

"How much does a plumber make in an hour? It depends on how much crack he can produce."

"Twiter helps me keep my finger on the pulse of what today's youth is jazzing & vibing to. #hip #relevant"

"I did a push-up today. Well, actually I fell down, but had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Now I need a beer."

"Some coworkers remind me of my ex, because I would jump in front of a bus to get out of a conversation with them too."

"Americans think of Canada as a United States cover band."