1969

Joke of the Day

"Just went for a piss while still wearing my microphone and the whole conference heard me call the urinal a ""thirsty boy"""

"I hate trying to wipe my ass without my glasses on I can't see shit"

"I remember the last thing my grandfather ever said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"What do buffalo do when they get sick? They Yak"

"If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don't need it to add up all the ladies you get...."

"Told a girl to text me when she got home. She must be homeless."

"Why are orphans bad at baseball? They don't know where home is."

"Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M; factory? A: Proof-reading."

"Woo hoo, July 4th wknd! Popped opened a beer, unbottoned my pants, put my feet up. My boss keeps looking at me weird, though."

"As it turns out you cannot recharge your cell plugging it in to an electric eel. I'm just glad this aquarium had a paramedic on duty."