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Joke of the Day

"I asked my mom why she forced me to go to to singing lessons as a kid She said singing is a skill I need to a choir."

"If a man strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown yourself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him."

"The best part about having a muppet for a best friend is that when you're done singing songs, BOOM free oven mitt."

"Most Republicans are still voting for Trump. Can I be banned for this, since it's actually not a joke?"

"I don't care about following a 'funny' celebrity from tv on Twitter-instead I look up who writes for their show then follow that person."

"Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies? One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it"

"Christianity jokes Q: What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified? A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)"

"A Stormtrooper tried to commit suicide yesterday."

"Gay pickup line Shit gurl, are you a chiropractor? Cause you straighten me out."

"Capt of Titanic: ""Mayday! We are sinking"" Coastguard: ""What happened?"" *Cthulhu makes throat-slit gesture with tentacle* Capt: ""Iceberg"""