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Joke of the Day
"My investment plan is to accumulate enough of the bank's pens to offset my overdraft fees."
Next Joke
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amazon ! Amazon who ? Amazon of a gun !"
"After watching the 6th sense I have been searching all over for the previous five movies with no luck"
"What's the difference between obese and morbidly obese? Obese is when you can't see your own genitals, morbidly obese is when you can't see your own genitals in the mirror."
"Nicki Minaj knows we can see her, right?"
"My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home"
"I wish I was an elevator... Because maybe then my wife would go down on me :c"
"Why was the germiphobe scared of coins? Because he was afraid of change."
"I talk a lot of shit for someone who won't sleep with her feet out from under the covers because of the monsters under the bed."
"""Your present is too big and weirdly shaped to wrap. Oh! What if I buried it in the yard?!"" -me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no."