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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between obese and morbidly obese? Obese is when you can't see your own genitals, morbidly obese is when you can't see your own genitals in the mirror."

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"What's the difference between my girlfriend and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when I smack it"
"I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it."
"a man walked into a bar nd he asked for a drink of whiskey and da barman sed, ""do u want whiskey or whisky?"" nd da man sed, ""i dont hear da diffrence!!!!"""
"What is Hillary Clinton's favorite sport? NASCAR, because it's always heading to the left."
"Never be ashamed of yourself. That's your parents job."
"Just the punchline... ...So then he says, ""But wait officer, you can't arrest me! I was only half-hard!"""
"My husband accidentally texted mewting instead of meeting. Now I can't stop picturing a bunch of kittens in a conference room."
"If you're turning left with your car, which wheel steers less? The spare one! :P"
"Want to hear a joke? My username."