94917

Joke of the Day

"After watching the 6th sense I have been searching all over for the previous five movies with no luck"

"All You Need to Know about Explosives by Dinah Mite"

"Is the Paleo diet the one where you only eat dinosaurs?"

"How to build a nested list 1) Start like this A) Then do this Bird: I live here now 2) Make sure to get the bird out Bird: NO"

"It takes a long time to delete 900 million dollars worth of stuff from an Amazon shopping cart."

"There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I'm supposed to stop reading the internet."

"What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shellfies!"

"Protestants sing every verse to every hymn. Catholics know this. We think about it when we get to the bakery 20 minutes ahead of you."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you can't pee soup."

"I cried when my dad cut onions... I miss onions. He was a good dog."