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Joke of the Day

"My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home"

"Why was the necrophiliac depressed? His rotten girlfriend split on him."

"The only school shooting I do. Is heroin in math class."

"How many Im not saying she's a slut But jokes are there? Im not saying she a slut but: She's been boarded more times than Amtrak"

"Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Well you have to remember that everything is energy so..."

"When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was."

"What does a French carpenter say when he runs out of nails? I haven't a clous."

"I saved my neighbors some money on their car insurance By totaling their car!"

"I'm such a hipster... I'm such a hipster that I won't listen to the Beatles until they're all dead. That way I can say I was a fan when they were underground."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck."