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Joke of the Day

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Broken Bungee Barbie ...Barbie doll lying broken on the pavement"

"Ugh, I am swamped at work today. *stares at puppies on the Internet for 3 hours"

"What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? ""Where's my tractor"""

"What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands? ""I literally can't even."""

"Before Wallmart existed you had to buy a ticket to see the circus."

"When they announced Ashley Madison was made up of almost all guys... I realized the internet really is a series of tubes."

"I wish behavior in football was acceptable in all jobs. Like if u clear a paper jam out of the printer you can stanky leg on your boss' desk"

"Boss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means? Me: That it's only Wednesday"

"I'm all wet! ""Give it to me!"" she yelled, ""I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."

"Lost Wallet I thought my dad would be angry when I told him I had lost my wallet, but he told me not to worry, that it was in my genes."