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Joke of the Day

"This girl told me she could sing like a harp But she turned out to be a lyre."

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"Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations"
"What do Germans look at on the internet? Danke memes"
"Man, you see that clown who's been spending all day hiding from faggots? No, havn't seen him? Interesting.."
"Did you hear about the millennial pharmacist that got fired? They fired him because he didn't believe in labels."
"4: Mommy, you're just like a Disney movie. We should play pretend. Me: Aww! Sure! 4:You can be the Beast. Me: ... 4: Or the fat sea witch!"
"I removed the shell of my racing snail to make it go faster. But it just made it more sluggish."
"Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard? To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week."
"Whats the most deserted place on fathers day? The visitation ward."
"My heart is like an onion... I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again"