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Joke of the Day

"4: Mommy, you're just like a Disney movie. We should play pretend. Me: Aww! Sure! 4:You can be the Beast. Me: ... 4: Or the fat sea witch!"

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off"

"Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!"

"PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer? Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net."

"Jesus walks into a hotel He throws a bag of nails on the counter and says: ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"Where did Ronda Rousey learn how to take a punch? Holm School"

"If I was an author I would make my pen name... *Page Turner.*"

"Ever hear the joke about the 3 Irish guys who left the pub? No? Neither have I."

"What do you call someone who masturbates a lot? A nutcracker."

"She: We are having my mother For dinner tonight? Me: But darling i'm a vegetarian. . how can i eat her?"