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Joke of the Day
"I removed the shell of my racing snail to make it go faster. But it just made it more sluggish."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Mexican nurse? [A care beaner.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carabiner)"
"*posts Social Security number on social media* *hopes someone steals his identity and pays off his mortgage*"
"I only speak Spanish when bill collectors call"
"The Canadian Army"
"I tell people my parents are divorced, but technically we lost my mom in a corn maze"
"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make everything up."
"The only thing i understood from Interstellar [spoiler] that the fifth dimension is a FUCKING BOOK CASE"
"I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well."
"What did the fish say when he hit the wall? damn."