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Joke of the Day

"""Was this car tested on animals?"" ""sir animals can't drive"" ""will this car enable animals to drive?"" ""No"" ""SO YOU DID TEST IT!"" ""god damnit"""

"A redditor discovers that the world will end in 23 hours... The news never even got to report on it."

"Why did the vampire pull out? He needed permission to come inside."

"funny Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all."

"Computers and taxis are surprisingly similar. They both crash when the drivers stop working."

"How can Peter Pan fly? You'd fly too if somebody panned your peter."

"I wish I had the self-confidence and assertiveness of the Adobe Acrobat updater."

"Why is Antarctica controversial? It's a polarizing topic."

"You know what I heard? Sheep"

"What type of writing is the most profitable? A ransom note."