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Joke of the Day

"I put an energy drink in my hummingbird feeder, now all my hummingbirds are going back in time and returning with tiny top hats."

Next Joke
 
"I need a new therapist. After a long session with my therapist describing all my various problems, she asked if I'd ever considered suicide. When I said no, she replied ""Well, you should."""
"Do you know how many planets are in the solar system? 7, after I destroy Uranus."
"Q: What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent? A: Squeaky clean clothes."
"1 Ring to rule them all, 1 Ring to find them, 1 Ring to bring them all & in the darkness bind them. 3 rings to let Mum know you're home safe"
"[good cop] admit you stole those diamonds [suspect] wait but I peed on them so now they're mine [dog cop] Jim he has a point"
"What's ET short for? Because he's got little legs."
"What do bees chew ? Bumble gum !"
"What do Muslim men do during foreplay? They tickle the goat under the chin."
"What do you get when you combine 99 lesbians and a politician? 100 people that don't do dick"