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Joke of the Day

"[good cop] admit you stole those diamonds [suspect] wait but I peed on them so now they're mine [dog cop] Jim he has a point"

Next Joke
 
"Can you eat me out? What are you doing?! I just wanted some of your pot brownie."
"Girl, do you watch football? Cuz I'll finger blast you harder than Jason Pierre Paul"
"If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ."
"You know you're in the r/science subreddit when [removed]"
"What brand of underwear did Jesus wear? Fruit of the Womb"
"""Hey Russell, You Want to Win Another Super Bowl?"" Wilson: ""Nah, I'll pass."" Just saw this on Facebook."
"If only life could be like the movies!* *i.e., every time someone gets a nosebleed it means they'll be dead soon"
"How many stones does it take to kill 3 birds? one.. one stone."
"I'm glad we evolved from apes. If we evolved from chameleons, we'd constantly be walking into each other."