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Joke of the Day

"Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground? It didn't have any pickups"

"Looking to marry a pharmacist. Looks and personality optional. Just don't lose your job."

"Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire? She wanted to lay it on the line!"

"When you get to Customs and they ask if you have anything to declare, ""Thumb War"" is not the answer they were looking for."

"At least he won't annoy his co-workers every week. What did the mother and father camel name their baby born without a hump? Humphrey!"

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in five years. Come on, guys. I don't have 2020 vision."

"Scientists announce porpoises are second to man in intelligence levels. So that pushes women down to third place. Sorry"

"Ways Ryan Gosling and I are similar: 1. Up to date on our vaccinations 2. I dunno, that's probably it and I'm not sure about that first one."

"My son swallowed several coins the other day. I've definitely seen some change in him."

"So I have a joke about pizza... ...but it's too cheesy"