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Joke of the Day

"I think I might stop cussing and get all religious and shit"

"Dear NFL: Super Bowl. I'll just let them process this a little bit. They should do something by the time I'm up tomorrow."

"Why is Putin Always early? because hes Russian (rush-en)"

"What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ""K"" instead of ""OK""?"

"Alcohol is nothing but poison But I drink because there are just things inside of me that need to die."

"I found a dog (no joke). If he's yours let me know. Male german shepherd. I am teaching him how to use a gun and drive a motorcycle."

"What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down? The owner calls Triple Eh."

"Why did the porkchop scream for help? I'd tell you the rest, but I don't want to spoil the meat of the joke."

"i feel like this year's fibonacci conference will be as big as the last two combined!"

"Falling in love makes you do stupid things. Once I even got married."