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Joke of the Day

"I feel there's still hope for this world every time my computer's spellcheck doesn't recognize Kardashian."

"The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature. 'How high is it Doctor?' she wanted to know. 'One hundred and three' said the doctor. 'What is the world record?'"

"Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type 'Happy Birthday'"

"[alarm clock goes off] ok it's happening again it's a day and it's here again *googling* day again why how to unsubscribe days"

"Justin Bieber is going to Hillsong Church conference. We'll see if they make a believer out of him or if he make Beliebers out of them."

"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"

"""I bet you can't name two different structures that hold water!"" Well, dam..."

"I don't know what the big deal is. Putting my toddler to bed is easy... In fact, just tonight, I did it 25 times."

"What do you call a vegetarian that eats seafood? An omnivore"

"I was asked earlier today to submit a 1,000 word essay. I thought, ""fcuk that"". So I just submitted a picture instead."