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Joke of the Day

"WHISKERS: There's nothing there. Go ahead. BLIND PERSON: *Steps off cliff* WHISKERS: Technically ^-- why we don't have seeing-eye cats"

"What do you use to check your cell from across the room? A telephono lens."

"I'd say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we're not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, ice dispenser.."

"I took my metal detector to the beach today expecting to find antiques of great value. Beach better have my money"

"What is Israel's favorite planet? Jewpiter"

"Why does the Italian pasta maker always get locked out of his house? because he has gnocchi"

"Why did the Dino Dance Team fail the Talent Show? They were all Nervous-Rex"

"I was going to write a gay joke.. ..butt fuck it."

"What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics? Walking."

"Once I was Walking And I kept Walking :p That's all how are doing today ? What' time is it at your house ? Are you married ?"