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Joke of the Day

"Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type 'Happy Birthday'"

"What doesn't kill you was only practicing."

"What do you call an Asian lobster? A crustasian"

"Went to the corner store I bought 4 corners"

"I have a roommate. She cleans my room, I clean hers. We are maid for each other."

"I love this time of the year... when the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air & the whole family gathers round a roaring Galaxy Note 7"

"I don't like skinny fashion models cause I find their lack of weight disturbing."

"Whenever people say they're willing to do ""whatever it takes"" to ""make it in Hollywood"" they never mean ""patiently work on their craft""."

"What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy? Uniball"

"Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz"