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Joke of the Day

"The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature. 'How high is it Doctor?' she wanted to know. 'One hundred and three' said the doctor. 'What is the world record?'"

"Girl Horribly Rejected https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va9sVhWuAv8&feature=youtu.be"

"Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce? She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra"

"I did a theatrical performance about puns.. Really it was just a play on words."

"There is a race between a skull and a small butt one's clearly ahead, the other's a little behind"

"If you're in a hot dog eating contest, poop on the table, and then while everyone is too grossed out to eat, just finish one hot dog."

"Contest in Girls College About Sex and Mystery Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winner's story: ""Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."""

"In response to /u/WisestAirBender, ""Backwards"" is also a palindrome. ""Backwards"" spelled backwards is ""Sdrawkcab"", which is still backwards."

"Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity... No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes."

"How do you stop a dog from barking in your front yard... Put him in the backyard"