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Joke of the Day

"My ceiling fan has 3 settings: 1. Very slow 2. Slow 3. I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident"

"After all of the screaming I've done, you'd think that this roach would give it up and WANT to die."

"What do Ethiopians have in common with Yoko Ono? They both live off dead beetles"

"What do you call a gay herbal doctor? A homeosexual."

"Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over."

"What's the difference between a Japanese person and a cannibal? One eats Ramen, the other eats Raw Men"

"Why does the Coast Guard have a 6 foot height requirement? So when their ship sinks they can walk back to shore."

"""That Will Smith is a nice young man, I hope he wins Celebrity Apprentice."" No Grandma, that's Ben Carson and this is the Republican Debate"

"I got catcalled by the garbagemen outside my house this morning... They know a good piece of trash when they see one."

"Can fish get high on seaweed?"