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Joke of the Day

"After all of the screaming I've done, you'd think that this roach would give it up and WANT to die."

"My boyfriend isn't allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window."

"Is it offensive to refer to Egyptians as ""mummies""?"

"CW: You're not wearing a costume. M: Yes I am. CW: You're dressed as yourself? M: No. I'm a serial killer. We look just like everyone else."

"Just monkeying around An orangutan walks over to an another orangutan and says 'Yo, I'm the best at climbing and swinging!' His friend looks at him and says 'that's a gibbon.'"

"A police officer respectfully acknowledges a black man as the man walks past the police station Title"

"Once upon a time there was a Z & D. Then someone tipped Z over. The ND."

"Where are otters from? Otter space!"

"I told my dad I lost my virginity... He said ""You were on bottom?... Then you really fucked up""."

"My girlfriend found lipstick in my pocket, I told her straight up I was cheating, there was no way I was going to confess I sell AVON.."