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Joke of the Day

"My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child."

"Just found a carrier bag with an England rugby shirt in the rubbish bin, can't believe someone would throw that away! Worth 5p that!"

"[moments after time traveling to 1863] LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL"

"What do you call street entertainers from the spirit world? Ghost Buskers"

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? He finds his dog, his truck gets fixed, and his woman comes home."

"I lost out at the S&M; Awards, but it was an honor just to be dominated."

"I accidentally spilled my bottle of rum on the floor. I was let down because I thought I'd be the one getting wasted."

"I went all around town looking for an optometrist's office when, at long last, I found one. It was a site for sore eyes."

"How can you tell when an Italian car has a flat tire? Dago wop wop wop"

"Its thanksgiving, and I am thankful for my dog, my boobies, and my life. Happy thanksgiving to you and your boobies."