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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally spilled my bottle of rum on the floor. I was let down because I thought I'd be the one getting wasted."

"""What's The Pink Panther's favourite type of jacket?"" ""No idea."" ""Denim."" ""Denim?"" ""Denim denim denim denim denim..."""

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, *look what's telling me that.*"

"What did the Ents yell as they attacked Isengard? Ambush."

"Yo momma so fat I'm really starting to get worried about her health."

"Instead of just answering the phone when it rings, I prefer to wonder why the hell someone's calling me and glare at it until it goes away."

"What do you call a pokemon that's part train? A Pikachoochoo."

"""Susan, will you marry me?"" ""Oh yes Johnny, yes! Yes!"" Ten grand later and it's still the best prank I ever pulled on my twin brother."

"My parents took away my mood ring . . . . . . I don't know how I feel about it."

"Subway sandwich artists seem like they'd rather kill their mother with an AIDS hammer than give you extra toppings."