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Joke of the Day

"i know a guy who loves saying ""best thing since sliced bread"" and i imagine hes always at a grocery store lookin at bread and just losing it"

"A German Dad Joke So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, ""Yes, it's called October."""

"I was listening to music and dropped my computer into the ocean... Guess now it's A Dell Rolling in the Deep"

"Jared from Subway ended his career the same way he started it. Trying to get into small pants."

"""I don't want to make a spectacle..."" Eye glass manufacturers last day on the job."

"What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake? It's not my fault."

"Me: How are you feeling Grandpa? Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly."

"Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown? He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)"

"A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. ""Och, I look like a pig!"" The man nods, ""And you dropped tomato sauce on your top."""