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Joke of the Day

"How do you blow a movie quote? You just put your lips together and whistle"

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"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't."
"How do you keep a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe."
"What type of melon would Romeo and Juliet have been? Cantaloupe."
"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher handsomer and smarter than some really really big guy named Chuck."
"Me (digging a hole): how's this? My clone: at least 6 feet deeper Me: you sure there's treasure? My Clone: toss me up your keys bud"
"My Fairy God-Mother once offered me the choice of a longer penis or a better memory I can't remember what I chose"
"how to fall down a long set of stairs: step 1) step 1 step 2) step 3 step 3) step 7 step 4) step 10 step 5) step 15 step 6) step 26"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Arfur ! Arfur who ? Arfur got !"
"We are all God`s children... so why is Jesus so special? thanks to Jimmy Carr for this one"