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Joke of the Day

"I can't get mad when I hear babies screaming in public because honestly, I feel the same way sometimes."

"What do you call a fake Irish diamond? A shamrock."

"Instead of yelling ""Hello?"" when u think a murderer's in your home, say ""Goodbye"" Then if he's there he'll be like well OK guess I'm leaving"

"The Great Wall of America... ...is gonna be made in China."

"Keep clam. I'm dyslexic."

"Paul Walker was a great guy Throwing a barbecue street side for free"

"Have you heard about the two guys who tried to steal a calendar? They each got six months"

"What kind of country do we live in when an artist like Sia won't take advantage of the freedom to change her last name to Lateralligator?"

"fun prank: go observe the newborns at the hospital & if someone asks which is yours say ""I haven't decided yet"" while sobbing uncontrollably"

"How does a cow kiss? Smooooooch"