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Joke of the Day

"fun prank: go observe the newborns at the hospital & if someone asks which is yours say ""I haven't decided yet"" while sobbing uncontrollably"

"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Shoutout to that one time I confused narcolepsy and necrophilia during a job interview."

"What's the best part about having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around the front and pretending your dick went all the way through."

"Any room can be a panic room if she tells you ""we need to talk"""

"A redneck girl is sucking off her black power boyfriend. What's her favorite song? I'm Going Through the Big D and Don't Mean Dallas"

"What do you call a stoner with Down's Syndrome? A Baked Potato."

"It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage."

"I started two diet plans today Because one wasn't enough to fill my appetite."

"LPT: Name Your Hands, Instant 3some"