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Joke of the Day

"Instead of yelling ""Hello?"" when u think a murderer's in your home, say ""Goodbye"" Then if he's there he'll be like well OK guess I'm leaving"

"Why did the prostitute join the Mormon church? She wanted a high paying missionary position."

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, do feminists still try to blame it on the patriarchy?"

"Falafel is a weird name cuz I actually falgreat every time I eat one"

"What do you call an orchestra with bronchitis? A coughcoughony!"

"""...any reason why these 2 should not be married, speak now or..."" They're engagement photo only got 21 likes on Facebook! *crowd GASPS*"

"Justin Biebers music saved my life I was in a coma after a bad car accident and the nurse decided to start playing some Justin bieber... I woke up and turned that shit off."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Cuatro Sinko"

"Me: I didn't get the job. Wife: Why not? M: Something about my eyesight. W: What EXACTLY did they say? M: That I needed 'adult supervision'."

"how did the ghost get to the hospital? in the amBOOlance"