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Joke of the Day

"Keep clam. I'm dyslexic."

"I always keep a windchime next to the bed so I can brush my fingers across it as my lover climaxes"

"*man with beerbelly waiting outside elementary school* *teacher walks towards man* ""are you expecting a child?"" ""no thats from all the beer"""

"Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied."

"Best Joke of all Time Civil Rights Act of 1866"

"What do you call a quadriplegic laying on the floor? Matt."

"Yogi Bear: You gonna eat that? Hiker: THAT'S A BABY. YB: And I'm a talking bear. Hiker: YB: Hiker: YB: So where are we on that baby?"

"Two tectonic plates are having a heated argument... They seem to have diverging opinions."

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift."

"A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ""Pint please, and one for the road."" "