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Joke of the Day
"Why can't blind people bungee jump? Because it scares the fuck out of the dogs."
Next Joke
"So they have warning signs for drivers to look out for pedestrians on their cell phone now. Put up warning signs for pedestrians that the driver might be looking at their cellphone. Problem solved"
"What is the difference between a priest and a zit? A zit wait to come on your face till your 13"
"A friend of mine once said all bars and clubs are haunted... It must be because of all the spirits"
"Why was the gangster sick after going to west Africa? He got eballa"
"There's a woman here who, by the amount of makeup on her face, fought with a rainbow - and lost."
"Research shows that smoking pot does not make you paranoid. But I highly doubt it."
"Don't worry. Nobody else wants Sharona."
"Preferred way to connect with me (ranked most to least): 1. Text 2. Twitter DM 3. Email 4. Phone 5. Climb through my window 6. LinkedIn"
"What's your favorite ""grosser than gross"" joke? Mine is hickey on a hemorrhoid."