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Joke of the Day

"What's your favorite ""grosser than gross"" joke? Mine is hickey on a hemorrhoid."

"I just watched a tumbleweed get blown across the road. I'm so jealous."

"A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else's, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat."

"Why did the US invade Iraq when Steven Seagal's ponytail contains 85% of the worlds natural resources?"

"Do you think horses are negative? They seem like real neigh sayers, and they're always whinnying about everything"

"The color of our skin was never important. We all are equal. unless you are orange from that self tan cream. Then we don't speak with you"

"What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window."

"There's a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work"

"Minister: if anyone objects to this unio- Me: *raptor call* Groom: *raptor call* Guests: *chorus of raptor calls* *Bride gets devoured*"

"British accent. Say ""Beer can"" with a British accent... I just taught you how to say ""Bacon"" with a Jamaican accent. ."