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Joke of the Day

"Preferred way to connect with me (ranked most to least): 1. Text 2. Twitter DM 3. Email 4. Phone 5. Climb through my window 6. LinkedIn"

"Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces."

"Anidiot Clicks Hah, you just clicked, ""An idiot clicks"""

"M$ forever! [oneliner] The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck, is the day they make a vacuum cleaner."

"______________________ I'm drawing a blank here."

"I have a disorder where I see Tom Jones lyrics wherever I go But it's not unusual"

"I have to start remembering my passwords, I have renamed the dog so many times he just looks at me with disgust now."

"The only time my wife will ever scream ""Deeper, deeper!""... Is when they are lowering my casket into the ground."

"Waitress at Olive Garden tells me to say ""when"" and starts grating cheese on my salad I say nothing Room fills with Parmesan No one survives"

"How many sovereign citizens does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They're too afraid of the electricity."