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Joke of the Day

"My friend and I had this never-ending argument in a swimming pool in France Turned into a total piscine contest"

"Can I have some orange juice? You: Can I have some orange juice? Other person: sure go ahead. You: Do you have any orange? Other person: what? You: I have jews but i dont have any orange."

"What do <school name> cheerleaders and a shotgun have in common? Give them 2 cocks and they'll blow."

"Why don't mountains get cold? They wear snow caps. *cringe* ^Courtesy ^of ^Westjet's ^horrible ^phone ^line."

"9am: protein shake, oatmeal 1pm: small salad, chicken breast 5pm: grilled salmon, spinach 9pm: 4 whole ""i don't give a shit anymore"" pizzas"

"Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her."

"The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial."

"We finally have definitive proof that Osama bin Laden is dead. He just registered to vote in Chicago."

"My 21yr old son: ""Mom sometimes I think you only had me for the free, lifetime tech support"" *slow wink*"

"Why don't blind people sky-dive? (from ""Money Train"") Because it scares the shit out of their dogs."