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Joke of the Day

"The greatest plot twist of all time is in the Bible where, halfway through, God suddenly turns out to be nice."

"I miss the old days. When a duck face meant that you had a stroke."

"The guy who developed Fractals.. The guy who developed fractals was Benoit B Mandelbrot, I heard the 'B' stood for 'Benoit B Mandelbrot'"

"I thought the thieves stealing my dinner was bad But this one takes the cake"

"What is the name of an annoying creature that is notorious for biting humans in the tropics? Luiz Suarez."

"I always thought Americans should say ""B"". Because Canadians say ""Eh"", and Mexicans say ""Ci""."

"I made a new company, selling landmines that look like prayer mats Prophets are through the roof."

"She said I was average. That's just mean."

"What do you call a redneck with two sheep? A Pimp"

"Wind chimes. Something I've never purchased. Can't see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what'd be nice? Noise."