120858

Joke of the Day

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is... .... you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club"

"What does a man call a gorilla he loves? Haram Bae"

"What do you call it when a golfer misses the hole? Fore-play"

"Had sex in a kiddie pool full of jam once. *pops jean jacket collar* I got marmalaid."

"Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a whorehouse for a hug."

"Not sure video Instagram is a good idea. I've never looked at a picture of someone's dinner and thought, ""If only I could hear this."""

"""Hello! You have a nice dog. Opiates are bad. Beautiful day today. My parents talk to pixies. Bye!"" - Polite home-schooled kid I met today."

"You know what's odd about those girls at Starbucks? They, like, literally can't, even."

"What do you say when you walk in on an East Indian woman dressing? Sari!"

"A Muslim, a black guy, a horse, a pirate, a gay, a chicken and a rabbi all walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""