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Joke of the Day

"An elder man is annoyingly telling a chef how to BBQ. Then the chef says ""you want us to switch positions? You come cook and I go and fuck off"""

"19 showed us what he has learned at college when he asked ""can we drink screwdrivers while we are opening presents?"" *making screwdrivers*"

"Sometimes I feel so alone, and then I remember I'm a part of the biggest, most reliable 4G network in the country."

"I was doing some curling in the gym when some guy looked at me funny. I said, ""What's up, punk?"" ""Nothing,"" he replied, ""I've just never seen a man using hair rollers before."""

"""It's been a business doing pleasure with you."" - Prostitutes"

"Why did you drive the lawn mower over your Easter basket? I thought the plastic grass was growing too high!"

"Why didn't the girl cry after learning of her boyfriend's leprosy diagnosis? She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!"

"Did you hear about the stupid turkey? It was looking forward to Christmas!"

"What do a short sighted Gynaecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.."

"I hate dolphins... ...for all intents and porpoises."