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Joke of the Day

"The whole ""limiting myself to one glass of wine a day"" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule."

"""I saved this for thirty years so I could give it to you and you could throw it out."" - Moms"

"Do you ever have to fart But end up shitting in your sisters mouth?"

"TIFU by searching for my wife on Pornhub turns out, it's not a dating site."

"So hypothetically speaking, what do you think is the scariest mask they would let me wear in line at the bank?"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? I would too if my name was NUYHAIMONBARG"

"What's Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash? Jergen's lotion."

"I have an irrational fear of large intricate corporate buildings. You could say I have a complex complex complex."

"Just bumped into a confused J.D Salinger... Just bumped into a confused J.D Salinger in the bread shop. He was looking for foccacia in the rye."

"You should always buy very high end speakers It's a sound investment"