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Joke of the Day

"So hypothetically speaking, what do you think is the scariest mask they would let me wear in line at the bank?"

"Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream? She was wearing mittens."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust."

"What do you call a famous Internet pirate? Blackneckbeard."

"What Olympic event that involves throwing should be eliminated? Discuss"

"A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative."

"I saw your wife cheating on you. Sure? What was she wearing? A white and gold dress. Uff, what a relief, she was wearing a black and blue one."

"[first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza."

"Donald Trump is the candy corn of politicians Part white, part orange and sickening in large doses"

"My wife is calling me Jeb Bush during sex Now I'll never come first."