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Joke of the Day

"I have an irrational fear of large intricate corporate buildings. You could say I have a complex complex complex."

"Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione? She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor."

"What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off? Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle."

"My car horn hasn't worked for a long time. Today, a Boy Scout fixed it and all he said was, ""Beep repaired!"""

"So I heard you like cheese sticks What are you, a gay cheese?"

"I like my coffee how I like my women... imported"

"Apologies your honor [slides ventriloquist dummy back under my seat] I was told these proceedings were going to be televised."

"I feel like my parents grossly overstated the number of times I'd be offered candy by strangers."

"I caught a disease on my trip to Sparta... The doctor says I have Leonitis"

"[Calls an ex] Ex: Hello Me: Remember how you lied about everything Ex: Why are you doing this Me: It's Throwback Thursday"