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Joke of the Day

"I had a huge home party last night and I was unpleasantly woken up by a surprise blow job. Next time I'll sleep with my mouth closed."

"Why was the blond staring at a carton of orange juice? Because it said concentrate."

"What's black and white and red all over? An emo kid with a razor."

"Im just an average guy with 2.4 kids."

"Sarah Jessica Parker's kid cannot start kindergarten today with all the other children due to a medical condition, he's a little hoarse."

"What is your best North Korea joke?"

"Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug dealer? The hooker because she can wash her crack and sell it again."

"The best times of my life were spent either blowing bubbles or playing with titties..."

"Fuck. Was just recorded by the google earth car. Just to be clear, I was jerking off NEAR pigeons, not TO them."

"When googling Gary Oldman I highly suggest not forgetting the ""R"""