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Joke of the Day

"[day 1] hello, world [day 2] bit less wobbly today [day 7] making other deer friends. getting funny looks tho [day 26] turns out i'm a hippo"

"Jesus take the wheel. No that's a book. A penny. A rock. DAMMIT JESUS DIDN'T YOU TAKE THAT ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CLASS I RECOMMENDED"

"Turkeys Recalled. Did you see the news story about the turkey recall? Check your freezers, because Butterball is recalling all of their turkeys because they forgot to butter the balls."

"Pennies from heaven would actually be quite devastating."

"I'm glad we finally have a strong leader I mean Putin has how many years of experience? The states are in good Russian hands."

"You know when your cat looks at your kids like ""thanks to you I've been out of food for 3 days and nobody's noticed"" .....?"

"Were a blind person to go sky diving, how would they do it? Wait until the leash goes slack, then pull the rip cord."

"""Hey, long time. Wassup?"" should be auto-corrected to ""Dude. Can you do me a favor?"""

"Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server? Just because ICANN."

"[DARK HUMOUR] What do you call a fat baby? Quite a mouthful."