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Joke of the Day

"Hello, pest control? Yes, I have these noisy little critters. They got into the snacks, made a mess of the place and keep calling me mom."

"I workout religiously About once or twice around the holidays"

"Why did the guitarist go to prison? For fingering a minor."

"What do Subway and Chuck E Cheese's have in common? Shitty food."

"What do you call a homeless caveman? Hobo Erectus"

"Getting a caricature drawing of yourself is basically the only time you pay money for someone to brutally own you."

"What do you call a slutty potato chip? A Free-to-lay"

"My mate Sid was a victim of I.D theft. He's just called S now."

"Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of nofrills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M."

"Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania? Very rare-ly."