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Joke of the Day

"How many punks does it take to change a light bulb? None. Punks never changed anything."

"Did you hear about the chicken that broke its wishbone? Its ok it was a lucky break"

"Q: Where do Sith Lords shop? A: At Darth Mall."

"A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"Man, you gotta hand it to Dick Cheney. Or else he'll torture you."

"What do you call someone who is obsessed with Joan of Arc? A heroine addict."

"What do you call a bullying competition? A jerk-off"

"I was looking at my bank statement and realized I was a .1 percent-er I don't know why anyone wants to be one, it's a crappy interest rate."

"What's that, turkey? GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well? GOBBLE GOBBLE [breaks turkey's neck] no time for your riddles, in the oven you go"

"Today, the doctor told me that the bottom of my heart has stopped functioning. My girlfriend will be disappointed; that's the part I loved her from."