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Joke of the Day

"How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ? Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !"

"What happened to Jesus when he tried to play defense on a professional Basketball player? He got crossed."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light-bulb? You can un-screw the light-bulb"

"""Hey, let's share a bottle of wine and try out the shriek-laugh we've been rehearsing."" -The women next to everyone everywhere."

"What do a prostitute and a plumber have in common? They both service the john."

"Do thin girls know about delicious food?"

"You can't be a real country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER."

"How many Murdochs does it take to change a lightbulb? They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it"

"In London, a man gets robbed every 4.5 minutes. And he's getting fed up with it."

"Why does Marx support New Years Eve celebrations? Well, it's got everyone out and about, celebrating another revolution..... (I'll show myself out)"